How do I choose my Bridesmaids?

January 10, 2022

What is one of the most important decisions in the wedding planning process?  It's choosing your bridesmaids. You want to celebrate the big day with your closest friends. There are no hard and fast rules. It's all up to you. What's important is that you choose people you are closest to at this point in your life.

It's not the time for quid pro quo. Don't ask because they asked you. Or ask a college roommate you haven't spoken to in five years. Give yourself at least a month to think about it. Once you ask someone, there is no going back.

Bridesmaids have responsibilities, so think of people who are the best fit. What role do you want them to play? Do you want them to address wedding invitations and attend pre-wedding parties? Help you shop for your wedding gown?  It may not be the best idea to ask family and friends who live far away or have very hectic schedules.

A good place to start is with your siblings. You want to include your sisters. Even though you may not feel particularly close to one at this time. Chances are you'll become closer over the years. If you have a big family and can't include everyone, consider the cut off at teenagers. Younger siblings can be junior attendants. They can hand out programs or be in charge of the reception table.

Kids are not required. If you feel close to any children, include them. If not, you don't particularly need a flower girl or ring bearer. If you have many, you can have three flower girls, one pageboy and one ring bearer. Go for it!

Think about how the bridesmaids will get along. Everyone doesn't have to be best friends. Consider personalities. A strong or abrasive personality tends to rub people the wrong way. You want to avoid drama on your big day.

Reliability is another factor. There will be deadlines and timelines. If a friend hardly calls you back, they might not be the right person.

Last, be prepared for hurt feelings. You can't make everyone happy. Have an explanation prepared in advance. Don't be upset if you weren't asked to be a bridesmaid. The bride is under a lot of stress and doesn't need a friendship drama. Take the high road. Ask how you can help.

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